Here’s How To Write A Condolence Letter

 

Loss of life is sudden and for sure. This is one of the most difficult phases in life and expressing sympathy on paper through a condolence letter is one of the difficult things to pen. It is hard to believe yet true that sympathetic words can lower the burden of a person in grief. Thus, the words used in a condolence letter should be used carefully. The person in grief may even keep it for years and read it often to overcome the sorrows.

 

Sending a handwritten note is preferable to a card as it serves 2 purposes. It allows us to share special memories and assures the reader that we took some effort to comfort him/her. A condolence letter has to be followed by a related phone call and the words must get used with care.

Tips To Write A Condolence Letter

Keep Yourself In Their Place To Understand Their Pain

We might not be knowing the dead person well. We can mention what good we have heard about the deceased one by others. Also, we can focus on the receiver’s qualities more than describing the dead one. Remembering our old pain might help us to understand theirs. Thus, we can flow with the words and emotions in the letter. However, we just have to understand their pain. We cannot compare one’s pain with another’s.

Avoid Using Harsh Words

This the basic point to remember. ‘Painful death,’ ‘suicide,’ ‘murder,’ ‘violence’ are some of the words to avoid as the motive of the letter is to comfort someone. Avoid framing how the death took place.

Length Of The Letter

The person whom we are writing must already be going through a lot of mental pressure. So, writing a very long letter will be hectic to read. A small condolence letter within 2 to 3 pages will work. It should also be simple and easy to understand.

Decide Whether To Use Religious Words.

First, understand whether the reader strongly believes in religion and advice accordingly. Don’t blame God by saying “It is God’s will” or something like “It is planned by God,” as it indicates that God has snatched someone from them. This may result in unnecessary anger.

Express Your Sympathy

Let the reader know that you aren’t gossiping. Instead, you have written this to share his/her sorrows, decrease his/her pain, and comfort him/her. Your genuine sympathy must be visible through the letter.

But, avoid making assumptions. Wrong assumptions may create doubts for the reader and the reader may not trust us as expected.

Share Some Good Memories Associated With The Deceased

This is applicable if we know something about the deceased. Memories to be shared must be chosen in a manner such that the reader will feel good and relaxed. Every coin has two sides and this is a universal truth. But the current sensitive situation is not worthy of bringing up the negative points of the deceased.

A Handwritten Letter Will Be Better

This indicates that you have taken some efforts to think about the receiver of the letter. You want to share your personal opinions. You arranged some time to write instead of just buying or printing any card. Also, a handwritten letter doesn’t put a limit on our words like a ready-made card. Writing through social media can be an option but it cannot compete with the comfort provided by a handwritten letter.

Motivate The Reader

Though it is natural to grieve after losing someone, one cannot remain in the same mental condition forever. One has to move ahead as this is life. Thus, we should motivate the reader to be strong and move on. It doesn’t mean that the deceased has to be forgotten. He/she will always occupy a special place in our hearts. But people should not flow away with their emotions.

Be direct and maintain a gentle tone because writing something indirectly will increase the complexity and this is not the time to make the reader think more.

End With Some Comforting Words

On one hand, people need some time alone to overcome the sorrow of losing someone, but on the other hand, they may need someone to comfort them. Thus, it becomes our duty to inform them that we will be available if they wish to share their pain. A promise should be made that can be fulfilled too.

The ending words should reflect our support, care, affection, and sympathy. The affection that was shown at the beginning of the letter must be shown at the ending too. One may run out of words. Thus, online help may prove to be beneficial here.

Time To Write

Writing within 2 weeks of the death is an ideal time. Writing later may result in digging up the wounds of the reader in case if the reader has already moved on. Still, if the letter couldn’t be sent within this time, we have to remember that, ‘it is never too late.’

 

A Sympathy Note

It is a shorter form of a condolence letter. But it should provide the same outcomes as that of a condolence letter.

Examples Of Condolence Letters:

Example 1:

A condolence letter to a friend who has lost his parent:

Example 2:

A condolence letter to a deceased employee’s spouse:

Conclusion

Writing a condolence letter is not an easy task as it touches a sensitive topic and may affect the emotions of the reader directly. However, it can be made easy by following certain rules and by understanding the situation including the reader’s pain.